Lard MoldyWart and the Monotonus Folly: Part 1
by LongLongLegz
Summary: Yes, it's the other side of the Monotonus Folly!


Lard MoldyWart and the Monotonus Folly   
Part One: (Scenes 1 &2)

A/N: Yes, this is the other side to HfromOz's "Hairy Potamus and the Monotonus Folly" (MoldyWarts side of the Folly), and it might be a bit strange. Don't whinge about spelling because i'll just ignore it. Don't give me unconstructive flames. It was also a Drama Assignment, and I'll write more if I get some good reviews. But enough of that crap, here goes... 

Characters:   
Lard MoldyWart - Lord Voldemort   
Permfail - Wormtail   
Hairy Potamus - Harry Potter   
Wronky Weasel - Ron Weasley 

Scene 1: Lard MoldyWart's Castle in Majorca (F7?), Spain 

_MoldyWart is sitting in his big high backed chair/throne with his facing the stage. Permfail is kneeling at his feet looking at him with fear and admiration._

MoldyWart: Permfail, get my nubile fellytone. 

Permfail: What was that all great master? 

MoldyWart: Get my Folly 

Permfail: Oh, yes all great MoldyWart snickers 

MoldyWart: Get it Now… 

Permfail: Oh, yes, all great wonderful, fantastic, beautiful master 

MoldyWart: Yes, Yes, Yes, cut the crap. 

Permfail: Oh Master! I would be honoured 

MoldyWart: If you don't get it now I'll practise my Inverted Clapping. 

_Permfail gets telephone (Mobile phone) and hands it to MoldyWart with a great sweeping bow before resuming his original position._

MoldyWart: And now to ring my greatest enemy, Hairy Potamus. I'll ask him if he want's to duel me, and of course he'll say yes, Potamus just won't be able to resist me, I'll be so charming. (_Looks at Permfail obviously expecting a comment_) 

Permfail: (_After a long pause_) What happens then master? 

MoldyWart: (_Raises Voice_) And then I'll get him! Get him just like I got his father, Lurid. I'll suck him through the felly and perform the Inverted Clapper spell on him and he'll be mine (Laughs evilly) Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha! 

_Thunder Rumbles overhead and more lightening and rain sounds as MoldyWart has a coughing attack after laughing for a long time._

_Blackout_

Scene 2: Also MoldyWart's Castle 

_Telephone dialling noise_

MoldyWart: Aha! It's concocting! 

Permfail: Oh Goody master! (_Rubs hands together and looks very happy_) Goody goody 

MoldyWart: Someone's picking up (_Long Pause_) I hope it's Potamus… Permfail, are you sure you got the right number, wouldn't want it to be Dumbelladorn would you now. 

Wronky Weasel: Hello? 

MoldyWart: Can I speak to Hairy Potamus (_Sniggers_) 

Wronky Weasel: (_To Hairy_) It's for you 

Haiyr Potamus: Hello? Yes this is Hairy Potamus speaking, to whom am I talking to 

MoldyWart: It's me, Lard MoldyWart 

Hairy Potamus: What? 

MoldyWart: It's ME! Lard MoldyWart, the greatest evil dark wizard since before Sizzler Zitherphin, who was only a mediocre evil dark wizard. 

Hairy Potamus: MoldyWart? 

MoldyWart: (_to Permfail_) He's trying to charm me, I'll give him some sugar to contend with. (_Into phone_) Hello Hairy Potamus, I am feeling very good and generous this fine morn. Now listen up m'boy, do you want to go and have a duel somewhere, eh? nothing too serious, only for fun you know. 

Hairy Potamus: Look, MoldyWart. I don't know what you want from me, just leave me alone and get on with colonising Russia, Okay? I want to finish school before battling you again. 

MoldyWart: Of course you know what I want, didn't I just tell you. Besides I've finished colonising Russia, and that wasn't any problem whatsoever; 

Hairy Potamus: (_Firmly_) Good Bye MoldyWart. I shall see you when I am 18 

Hairy cuts off the connection and puts down the phone. MoldyWart is staring at his end of the phone strangely, as it is emitting blue sparks 

MoldyWart: Hey! Potamus hung up on me! He's not allowed to do that, that's my job. I'm the one who can do the really good evil laugh, aren't I? 

Permfail: Oh yes master, your evil laugh is supremer than all other evil laughs. (Snorts)   


Disclaimer: I herby disacknowledge any rights I may have had to earning money (sic) or anything else by publishing this and I also state that I didn't breach copyright (I hope) and I don't own any of the original characters written by J.K. Rowling. 


End file.
